Heads together Campaign

If you have been watching or listening to the news today, there has been a lot of stuff on the Heads Together campaign on depression and getting people to talk.

Heads together

www.headstogether.org.uk

An element of the “The Man Shed” is taken up by this http://www.themanshed.org.uk/home/mental-health/ and partly our purpose and function is to offer help and support in this area.

So…. I would like to offer our support to any guys from the our area (see below for other agencies) who are having a difficult time right now, we are not professional counsellors or Drs, but we are willing to listen and offer support in any way we can. Even if it is to just for someone to shout and scream at, and say how crap life is right now. You can get in touch via the website www.themanshed.org.uk/home/contact-us/, or email us at talk@themanshed.org.uk.

You probably know the statistics by now, but nearly 80% of suicides in the UK are men and it is the most common cause of death in men aged between 15 and 45.

Men are rubbish at talking & doing something about issues in their lives, but guys, It makes you more of a ‘man’ to realise you are struggling and to seek help. Just take a look at some of the video being realised today from the likes of Freddie Flintoff and Pro Green. https://youtu.be/JjdIgUVj3Pw

If this is you I am talking about, and you are not happy to talk to me, please seek help elsewhere, like Samaritans on 116 123, or CALM on 0800 58 58 58, or see your GP.

Feel free to share.

Thanks 
Graham Foxwell

#flintoff #theCALMzone #professorgreen #oktosay

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Divorces in England and Wales

Hi guys,

Just a short blog today!

I was at a Men's conference this weekend, and I found out another statistic that sadden me. 

That is.... according to the Office of National Statistics, "The number of divorces in 2014 was highest among men aged 45 to 49."  

Which incidentally is the peak age for suicide. 

Link to Statistic ONS website

And again, I would like to help stop this trend, and offer my support to any guys struggling in this area (and any other to be honest) of their lives.

www.themanshed,org.uk

Thanks 

Graham Foxwell

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Getting Help??

I know from speaking to several guys, that accessing support for mental health issues is beset with problems.

I myself have experienced problems in my own family, trying to access this stuff for my daughter when she was a teenager. And then when she became an adult (at 17, figure that one out!!!), it was almost impossible. We had to scream and shout for support, and on occasions refuse to leave places until they did something.  And on one occasion, call the police.

Men being men, we find it difficult asking for help in the first place, so when we get fobbed off, it can be a real issue.

I know, this is not always the case, and it depends on where you live etc. And there are some good and bad stories. But I would like to hear your experiences…. Good or bad???

Thanks 

Graham Foxwell

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Talking about your feelings

Now this is just my opinion, so take it as you see, and I would like to hear feedback.

Men are shallow when it comes to sharing feelings, which definitely true with me. However, this I believe, is very reason the statistics of depression, loneliness, stress and suicide in Men are so high in the UK.

Now I am not saying we all have to trot off to counselling, although in some cases we do! I am saying, we need to be able to say to our 'mates', "Life is a crap right now" and say things like…. "I've just lost my job", "My wife has left me", "My kids really sick" or "I'm really depressed right now and I don't know why".

We also need to be able to have a mate or two, we can let rip with. To Shout and swear at, and possibly get a bit aggressive with (I don’t mean violent).

Over the years we have been running the ‘Men’s Pub nite’ I can’t remember how many times, friends have followed me up to the bar or took me to one side, to say some of the things above.  Some just want me to say, ‘I’m really sorry to hear that’ and other want to chat a bit more.  And a few more want to meet up on another date, when it’s a bit more private to chat a bit more, and get what is bothering them off their chests.

And that simple conversation can be enough to stop that person going home and doing something else to relieve the pain and anguish they are going through.  That being, alcohol, drugs, violence or suicide.

Talk to your mates, to your Doctor, partner or us. We can if needed, signpost you to a professional if needed.

Don’t sit in silence. You are not alone.

Thanks 

Graham Foxwell

The Man Shed

www.themanshed.org.uk 

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Life today for Men

Life for many Men these days is...... move in with a partner (get married), get a job, have kids, and….. move away from where they grew up or at least lose contact or regular contact with their mates.

'New Life'

And in this ‘new life’, they, get up every day, got to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, get up, got to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed ……and on and on it goes. After a couple of years, that becomes their whole life. Possibly with a bit of sport, family and socialising in-between.

In some cases, your work becomes your family, and even the family become a vague abstract feature of life.

This can then create tension in personal and business relationships. Bringing about an identity crisis, feelings of loneliness and isolation. Leading to depression, anxiety, grief, or stress. 

You can have lots of friends, business colleagues and family around you and still feel lonely.

So when this ‘new life’ starts to unravel or fall apart, you are left with no one to turn too. Because you have become detached from family, and your mates are in the same situation or have moved on or away. 

And, us being blokes, we don’t talk!

If ignored, this situation can develop into alcoholism, drug use, self-harm and affect your physical and mental health. With symptoms of schizophrenia, anxiety and depression. And sometimes lead to suicidal thoughts and actions.

So lets talk!

So… if you can associate with anything I have said above, or you know someone who does; Firstly, You are not alone, you are not the only person who feels like this, and life can and will get better.

If would like to talk more. Get in touch with us at The Man Shed. www.themanshed.org.uk

Or if you need to talk right now or feel you need specialist help. contact the CALM Zone https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/

or
The Samaritans at http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you

Thanks 

Graham Foxwell

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My First ever Blog!! :)

OK Bloggers. This is my first ever blog, so I’m keeping it short and to the point….. hopefully!

So basically, I wanted to start a discussion on Men’s Mental health and suicide in the UK.

I started looking into this a few years ago, when a friend I knew back in school took his own life. And this obviously left me feeling shocked, confused and upset. Subsequently, three more guys from that same year at my old school took their own lives. And this started my journey in to exploring ‘Male suicide in the UK’.

I came across an organisation called the CALM Zone (www.thecalmzone.net), and was shocked by the statistics they published. 

Statistic like: 

• Suicide is the UK’s single biggest cause of death among men under the age of 45….Do you get that? Nothing else kills more men/boys under the age of 45 in the UK than suicide..... nothing!
• Over 76% of all suicides in the UK are Men!
• When men choose to take their own lives, they usually pick a violent or brutal method; one which is more likely to result in death.

My question is…. What is wrong with us as a society? That for some men, when in a time of crisis or severe depression, the only option they see available to them, is suicide?

There are not many things in this world we/I can influence, or do very much about; but I for one cannot sit idly by and do nothing. 

So who is with me on this, and wants to stand up and fight against this silent killer in our society?

Lets TALK!

Thanks 

Graham Foxwell

The Man Shed

www.themanshed.org.uk 

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